I fall in love almost every day in my life.  It’s such an exhilarating feeling to love and just to be able to express it.  Last week I was smitten with an older lady who happens to be a regular at our store.  I don’t know her name, however I do know that she has the most beautiful pure white hair I’ve ever seen and has the sweetest demeanor.  She walks 2-3 miles everyday because her eyes are bad, she jams out to mp3 player and always stops at Starbucks to buy a bottle mocha frappacino.

I saw her from a distance and wanted so much to bless her and bought her drink anonymously just to love on her– not wanting anything in return, but just being able to express the love that was bubbling from within.  Yesterday I stopped in and my co-workers exclaimed that there was a note and a present for me in the back… I was hesitant, because I’m not a huge fan of surprises.  I opened up the fridge to find over 2 dozen home baked chocolate chip cookies from the lady– saying thank you.  It tickled me so much that she would even go that far to do so.  I love love– it’s the gift that keeps on giving.

I am beginning to understand and walk in fuller revelation of my identity in Christ.  Yesterday I picked up Ryver to hang out and we got caught up in a heavy conversation in the 10 minute commute to Samantha’s house.  I could feel tears well up in my eyes as I was reminded how drastically different Heaven’s perspective is.    The other day at work I felt a bit ashamed and almost embarrassed when girls from high school (they were younger than me, and I didn’t know them)  recognized me at work.  I was in every club and every office in high school and here I am, almost 10 years later working at Starbucks.  That thought only lasted for a second and quickly remembered that I didn’t need to prove myself to anyone or anything…even myself.  My thoughts tried to list all the things I accomplished within the last few years, but still that doesn’t identify me.  That doesn’t change God’s love and what He has to say about me.  Nothing I can do ever will.

I have a tendency to listen to a song on repeat anywhere from a week to a whole month.  The song of the moment is Lauryn Hill’s “Get Out”.  It’s a pretty powerful song, a freeing song, and awakening song.  Her lyrics are burning in my soul, only because it’s truth.

I get out, I get out of all your boxes
I get out, you can’t hold me in these chains
I’ll get out
Father free me from this bondage
Knowin’ my condition
Is the reason I must change

I see past your disguises
Blindin’ through mind control
Stealin’ my eternal soul
Appealin’ through material
To keep me as your slave

Repressin’ true expression
Cementin’ this repression
Promotin’ mass deception
So that no one can be healed
I don’t respect your system
I won’t protect your system
When you talk I don’t listen
Oh, let my Father’s will be done

It hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday just how much I refuse to compromise, and how I want nothing else to be true to myself–whatever that looks like.  I am just really getting how I am a Co-Laborer with Christ…and that out of His beauty and love for me, that I have freedom to choose in this life….I have the power to dream and to create it within me because of Christ’s power inside.  He has created me uniquely and intricately, and my journey and destiny doesn’t look like anyone elses…and He’s challenging me to dream bigger than I thought.

Hah, the question is, what does that look like?

Ideas and projects run through my head daily and I always feel like time isn’t on my side….but again I am going by my own timeframe which is sometimes poposterous and even illogical.  I want to paint pictures and have people get a glimpse of the world through my eyes…. I want to write books, not because I am a writer but because I want to share….I want to right the injustices of the world not because I’m naive or overambitious…but because I love.

I choose to let my dreams color my reality, and I don’t want to live any less than that.